Imagine | Winter 2025
A digital magazine from Irwin Mitchell
Imagine | Winter 2025 A digital magazine from Irwin Mitchell
Imagine | Winter 2025
A digital magazine from Irwin Mitchell
SUPPORTING
children
After a parent’s serious injury: A guide for families
When a parent suffers a serious injury, it can be challenging for the whole family. You may not know what to say to your children, or even how to start the conversation. Being open and honest can make a big difference to how they cope.
In this article, we explore practical tips and guidance to help you give your children the support and reassurance they need. Our serious injury team can also signpost you to charities and support networks that may be able to help.
Five top tips for communicating with children:
1.
Be honest and age-appropriate
- Young children: Explain the situation using clear and simple language, such as “Daddy’s hurt and needs to rest to get better.”
- School-age children: Provide more detailed information but keep it straightforward. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings.
- Teenagers: Teenagers can handle more complex information and may make their own assumptions if they feel information is being withheld. Give them chance to ask questions later.
2.
Reassure and comfort
- Young children: Young children are sensitive to changes in their environment and the emotions of their caregivers. Physical comfort, like hugs and cuddles, can reassure them that they’re safe and loved.
- School-age children: Encourage them to talk about their feelings with you or another trusted adult. They may also want to write them down. Let them know it’s okay to feel sad or scared.
- Teenagers: Acknowledge their emotions and provide a safe space for them to express themselves. Encourage them to seek support from friends, school counsellors, or support groups if needed. Some teenagers may find it easier to share their thoughts in online support groups.
3.
Maintain routines
- All ages: Sticking to regular routines and encouraging your children to continue with their usual activities can help them feel more secure.
4.
Involve them in the process
- Young children: Simple tasks, like drawing a get-well card, can help them feel included.
- School-age children: Encourage them to help by tidying their toys or getting ready for bed by themselves.
- Teenagers: Allow them to take on more responsibilities if they want to but don’t rely on them too heavily. You could suggest that they do something to help occasionally rather than every day.
5.
Seek professional support
- All ages: Child psychologists, counsellors, and support groups can provide valuable assistance. Your child’s school will also have resources available and it’s a good idea keep them informed.
Visiting a parent in hospital
If the parent needs an extended hospital stay, a child will have to adapt quickly to the sudden change at home.
Whether or not it’s possible to visit their parent in hospital may depend on the extent of the parent’s injuries, and personal preference of everyone involved.
If you decide to take your child to visit, particularly if they’re in Intensive Care (ICU), planning ahead can make things easier. Check with the hospital before you suggest the idea to your child and try to involve your child in the decision to visit, making sure they are confident in their choice.
Preparing for the visit
- ICU staff might be able to support children with their first visit by explaining what everything is and how it helps their parent.
- If the parent has physical injuries, it can be a good idea to talk to your child about this first to help reduce the shock of seeing them. Showing them a photo can also help.
- Agree on a ‘code word’ that your child can use if they want to leave and reassure them that it’s ok to change their mind at any point. It can help to take a close friend or family member with you to sit with your child if you need to leave them for any reason.
Visiting the parent
- Check with a member of staff to make sure it’s still OK for your child to go in. The situation may have changed since you last spoke to them.
- Try to stay calm around your child. They may become more fearful if they pick up on your anxiety.
- Encourage your child to talk to their parent, and if staff say it’s ok, you can suggest they hold their parent’s hand.
- Keep the first visit short to ease your child into their surroundings. Give them the chance to take a break or to visit another time if they become upset.
- Give your child lots of reassurance and allow them to ask questions while they’re there.
After the visit
- Allow time for questions. Even if your child doesn’t want to talk straight away, they may come back later.
- Be prepared for your child to get upset. Spend time with them, allowing them to talk to ease their fears.
- Try to have support for yourself and don’t be afraid to ask for help. It can be hard to support your children when you’re worried about what may happen. Organisations such as Brake and Headway have useful resources available.
Don Hewitt, Interim head of Brake’s National Road Victim Service
Ideas to support your child:
Communicate openly and honestly
Use language that your child can understand and keep explanations short and simple for young children. Encourage your child to talk to their parent about how they feel. They could even write letters or notes for the parent to read in their own time.
Reassure your child
Let them know their parent is still being cared for and that you and other family members will be there to help.
Focus on what will stay the same
Discuss how things will change, but also talk about what will remain the same.
Create visual guides
If your child’s routine changes, you can create age-appropriate pictures or diagrams to help them remember and adapt.
Maintain routines
Routines can help children feel reassured that life will be OK again.
Help children feel in control
Let them decide what to wear or choose their own meals.
Encourage activities
Focusing on their own activities or playing with others helps to distract children and help them feel normal.
Be aware of bullying
If you suspect your child is being bullied, have an open conversation with them and inform their school.
Staying strong
Remember, every family’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to seek help along the way. By supporting each other and staying positive, families can find hope and strength in even the most challenging circumstances.
Legal support
If you or a loved one has suffered a life-changing injury, and you need support, guidance and help accessing rehabilitation, please reach out to our caring and professional team.